In today's technology age, with a shortage of personal time and a general distraction because of the environment, we are forgetting the art of having a great 1-1 conversation--one of the most powerful tools for human connectedness.
Edit Steps
- 1Choose whether you are up to having a conversation : take a moment to reflect whether you're really fully ready-physically, mentally and emotionally.
- 2Determine whether the person you wish to have the conversation with is ready, and on the topic you wish to converse on. Ideally if the other person starts off, and you are ready to respond, a meaningful conversation can ensue. If you're not sure, ask the other person.
- 3Check whether you really care for the other person in context of the topic of conversation--as a boss, a parent, a friend or a partner. If you do not, it's visible and felt. Unless a conversation adds positively to both parties, it's likely to be debilitating in some way.
- 4Be clear on the purpose--is it just a selfish purpose, or a manipulative one, or can it really be helpful to both parties. Even advise given through a conversation is useful only if both parties see value in it.
- 5Check the level of trust between you. Most dialogues (with no preformed strong opinions) would require a level of trust. If there is a lack of trust on either side, the first step would possibly be to build some trust. It can be built through the conversation itself and sometimes by being upfront and open about the level of trust. Unless you understand and put the problem on the table, the solution will not emerge.
- 6Listen. The term conversation is misunderstood as speaking. Listening is the most important part of a conversation. Deep, empathetic listening can raise the quality of the 1-1 interaction immensely.
- 7Learn to like silence as much as words. If fact, if you look back, some of the most meaningful and understanding conversations are characterized by the quality of silences in it.
- 8Measure the words you are using. Words, and more importantly, the tone and body language, can take away from the effectiveness of any face to face conversation.Pay attention to how you come across, watch yourselves speaking in front of the mirror. Or record yourself through a camera having a conversation and play it back--it's amazing what you'll see and hear.
- 9Continuously watch for how the other person is reacting. People give you instant feedback through their body language, tone and voice.It is great feedback to work on yourselves and the conversation.
- 10Finally, be true to yourself, genuineness is the most powerful part of yourself you can bring to a conversation.
Edit Tips
- Spend some time with yourselves in silence every day if you want to be a great 1-1 conversationalist
- Watch yourselves and other having conversations.
- Enjoy each human interaction that you have--that will enrich you, uplift you and teach you the most about yourselves and others.
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Article Info
Last edited:
February 15, 2012 by VermontGal
Categories:
Relationships
