Discussion:Pick Up on Manipulative Behavior

wikiHow's quality is suffering by promoting so many Featured Articles so quickly, before they are ready. This article is the most recent example of that trend.

The first sentence, "Manipulation refers to making attempts at influencing someone else's behavior or actions," is inaccurate and almost comically overbroad. Most interactions among individuals involve attempts to influence another's behavior, and most of them are innocent. "Manipulation" goes beyond normal attempts at persuasion. It exploits the "manipulee's" psychological vulnerabilities to unfairly overcome the victim's defenses and will. Some manipulation is deliberate and carefully crafted (e.g., salespersons, advertisers, and politicians). Other manipulation is are the product of the manipulator's sociopathology and are unintentional, although no less effective or unfair.

The rest of the lead, and the rest of the article, is disorganized, contains grammatical and syntax errors, and is far too wordy. The article is in need of heavy copy editing, and consent editing.

Most of the suggested responses to manipulation are ill-advised. The suggested, lengthy dialogues are too specific to be of use to the reader and, more importantly, belong in wikiHowNotTo. Retaliation may feel good for awhile, but it is seldom productive—especially if the manipulator is someone you care about or are forced to interact with, which is usually the case. Most manipulators are immune to counter-manipulation and, more importantly, know how to carry a grudge effectively. Following this article's advice can do serious damage to family and employment and other relationships. Professionals usually advise disengagement, not counterattack. Publishing an article like this is irresponsible because of its potential for doing harm.

I'm really sorry to be so negative, and so blunt. But when something this poor and potentially dangerous becomes a Featured Article, the FA reviewers need a wake-up call.

I like this actually. Don't get me wrong, there are quite a few errors and a few statements where I think "well.. that may be true in one context but certainly not in another".

However, coming from a family which has used manipulative behaviour as a main social tool for the entirety of my life, some of the statements seem really interesting and could prove quite helpful.

As a specific tool, this article is downright useless because of a large degree of generalisation. However, it gives a good broad overview of manipulative behaviour and guilt-trips. Some of the statements are so true - they're akin to those sorts of thoughts and feelings one has which cannot easily be explained in words without a PhD in psychology.

Also, as Finell stated, some of the recommended responses given are quite poor for certain relationships. Naturally one would have to tailor the responses in accordance with the relationship intimacy of the person being manipulative.

Finell, I would suggest you have a crack at editing. You are very articulate, and obviously quite knowledgeable on the subject - the wikiHow is here for ANYONE to edit, not just the original author. It's far more helpful when experts in the subjects of articles will pitch in and help than simply criticize, however true or well-meaning the criticism.

amen- good start here, though. i consider manipulative behavior a symptom of a bigger problem, namely codependency; although there are certain rather harmless, 'up front' manipulations that i'm sure don't fit this category. as a codependent, i agree with most of the defenses here, which basically involve a refusal to engage the codependent on their (dubious) terms.

I am not saying the artist and/or the author is sexist. However, I find it gravely insulting that the "bad guy" in the accompanying pictures is...well....a guy. And so is the antagonist in the scenarios as proposed by the author. I believe it's time for women like you to start thinking from a more egalitarian standpoint. Men and women alike can be given to do good just as much they can be given to do bad. Get over yourself!

1. pipinghotpissed