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How to Stay Updated With Your Friends if You Don't Use Facebook
Edited by Anna Barrow, TechFlash1, Krystle, Teresa and 8 others
In today’s social media charged society, staying in touch with old (and new) friends has been made easier thanks to sites like Facebook and Twitter. From talking about your child’s soccer game win to raving about eating an awesome sandwich, Facebook has become one of the easiest (and sometimes annoying) ways to hear about your friends’ every thought or action.
Although plenty of people have migrated to these sites and enjoy the interaction, many people still prefer to keep in touch the old school way. Indeed, some prefer––gasp––to not have a Facebook account at all. If this is you, then while you may not know the last time your friend watched her favorite TV show (just updated on Facebook), it's reassuring to know that you can keep in touch and know about the things that really matter.
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EditSteps
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1Maintain stellar contact information. One of the best ways to stay in touch is to always know where your friends currently live and/or work. In addition to their home address, maintain cell and land line information, email addresses and work information.
- If your friends are under the age of 30, obtain their parent’s contact information. Young career go-getters tend to move around a lot, so it can be easy to lose pace with new apartments, phone numbers and cities but their parents will usually have this information ready.
- Update your contact information every year. Refresh contact information once a year in order to remain current and keep pace with everyone’s changing (and hectic lives). Consider using holiday cards as a way to check in with snail mail addresses and send an email blast to your contact list (create a group so you don't reveal everyone’s address) to confirm new emails and phone numbers.
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2Choose a preferred medium for contact. Some people do best talking on the phone, whereas others prefer email or personal contact. Consider which way you can maintain contact with friends and use that mode as your basis for ongoing communication.- Phone. A quick call with a friend can bring you up-to-date pretty quickly. Find out which phone number your friend prefers, as some people would rather talk on their cell phone while in the car or even at work rather than at home. Others may not want to talk at work at all. Be courteous and find out the best contact times in advance.
- Text message. Texting, while not as personal as phoning, allows you somewhat of the same type of exchange you may experience on social media. A quick message or a hello can brighten your pal’s day and allow you to stay connected.
- Email. In the old days, letter writing was a fabulous form of communication, allowing the sender to express his or her thoughts on paper. Email has become today’s modern letter, however recipients can receive the message almost instantaneously, which can even create virtually a real time conversation if both participants are on the computer.
- In person. For the friends who live locally, spending quality one-on-one time together may be the preferred method of staying in touch. Making memories and reveling in the old are an ideal way to stay bonded.
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3Ensure you reach out to friends at least once a month to maintain closeness. Everyone gets busy, which is why Facebook and Twitter have taken off like wildfire. A simple post or Tweet allows you to stay in front of friends' movements en masse. However, if you have opted out of social media, you can still remain ––it just takes a little more effort:
- Schedule emails or calls. Unfortunately hectically paced lives call for a well-scheduled personal life. You have your schedule and your pals have theirs––one of the only ways you can ensure that you two meet is to put it in the book. Whether it’s scheduling email chats or calls, make sure you put forth the effort.
- Write down dates when you last connected with specific friends. Time easily slips away when you're running 1,000 miles per hour so it’s easy to let months and even years go by before connecting with certain friends. After having a conversation with a friend (whether it’s text, email, phone or in person), write down the date in a calendar so you can quickly see how long it’s been since your last interaction.
- Schedule activities. Make plans with your friends to ensure you actually get together. Invite friends to attend a local event or make dinner plans. For out of town friends, consider joining an online game league or even an Xbox party so everyone can play together. Use Skype or your gaming system so you can chat and play.
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4Schedule live visits with friends. While there’s nothing quite like hanging with friends in person, consider how you’d like to connect with your pals.- Multi-group gatherings. Have a party or go to an event with a group of friends. Ponder the group dynamics and how everyone will interact before assembling your groups. Some folks like to keep work friends and old college friends separate whereas others find people from two worlds to possibly mesh.
- One-on-one activities. Book a slot with one friend at a time and visit an art museum, go to a movie or go shopping. Also find an activity that allows you to have time to communicate. If you go to a movie, have lunch or dinner before or after so you have time to chat.
- Connect with friends who live in other cities when you travel. Be sure you reach out to friends who live in other cities if you happen to be in town on business (or pleasure). Ask for hotel recommendations and allow your friend to show you his or her town while you are there.
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5Be prepared for some challenges when not using Facebook. It's your prerogative not to use Facebook but be aware that sometimes this may leave you out of the loop and that your friends may not be aware of this. It's important to explain clearly to your friends why you don't use Facebook (work privacy reasons, dislike of the site, bad past experience, etc.) and that they are totally aware that they need to contact you individually in some cases to make sure that you're aware of anything they'd like you to know.
- Be aware that you might miss your friends' photo, news and event updates on Facebook.
- Be prepared to send forgetful friends that you're not able to read their updates, etc. on Facebook if it seems like you're not getting messages that you need to know.
- Most friends will be understanding that you're not using Facebook provided you have a good reason. They might be a bit baffled if it's because you hate the site but if they're good friends, they'll know your personal takes on such matters and respect them!
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EditTips
- If you move, send a change of address/phone number both electronically and the old fashioned way, through US mail.
- Make sure your email and voicemail system is up-to-date and working so friends can reach you.
- Make every time you connect count. If need be, prepare a list of questions or information you’d like to share before your phone call or meeting to ensure you communicate what’s important.
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EditWarnings
- Don't give friend duty to your personal assistant. Getting email or a card from you, even though sent by your assistant (or spouse), doesn’t have the same meaning.
- Avoid hassling your friends out for not sending you information. They might be absent-minded, too busy for individual updates or simply forgetful. Be polite when reminding them and don't badger.
Article Info
Featured Article
Categories: Featured Articles | Friends
Recent edits by: Lutherus, PiedPiper, Emily Thompson
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Español: Cómo mantenerte al tanto de tus amigos que no usan Facebook
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