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How to Adjust to Being a Girl when You've Always Wanted to Be a Guy
Edited by Zack, Flickety, Vivek Kumar Rohra, Ben Rubenstein and 24 others
Being a girl is great, but what if you really feel more like a guy? Unless you're willing to make a drastic change, here are some ways to adjust to being less than comfortable with your gender.
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EditSteps
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1Analyze why you feel uncomfortable as a girl. Some girls just aren't "girlie-girls." They're still girls, and they're called "tomboys". Tomboys typically like sports, and feel comfortable with guys. They will, however, wear a prom dress. Not you? Maybe you're a "boi." Bois hate wearing make-up and doing their hair and nails, dislike dresses and skirts, and wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of stilettos and a strappy little black dress. These girls will much more likely be wearing their hair short, no nail polish, and will be in trainers, and blue jeans. If this is you, most of these tips can help. If you really feel that you were born in the wrong body, you may be trans-gendered, and should seek information and counseling to help you accept and/or transition.Ad -
2Do what makes you feel good. If you don't want to wear make-up, skirts, or other feminine things, don't. However, also understand that feminine doesn't just mean pink and frilly; It's power, multitasking, and so many things. Look at feminine qualities, not material trappings. -
3Dress how you feel. Maybe some days you like to wear grungy old jeans and an old t-shirt, but some other days you might want to dress up a bit. You don't have to put on pantyhose and pumps to dress up. Instead, try a bit of gender-bending - "cute girl drag" is very appealing without making a "man" out of you. Try wearing a vest over a t-shirt, and dress it up with a slender neck tie, tied loosely. Dress up your jeans by wearing a soft blazer-style jacket - or better yet, a bomber-style leather jacket with lots of zippers and buckles. Wear low-heeled boots or cowboy style boots - they dress you up a little, too, without overly feminizing you. Wear your hair shoulder-length and shaggy, but not too messy. You can even wear a little mascara or make-up, if you want. -
4Hang out with the boys. A lot of guys are cool with hanging out with girls when playing sports, going out or just talking guy stuff. -
5Mold your girl time to your interests. If you need a night out with the girls, suggest something other than the spa, the beach, or the mall. Sports games, rock climbing, surfing, other outdoor water sports, skiing, skating, any other winter sports, or keep it simpler and just hang out, go to dinner, watch a movie, or play board or video games. -
6Dress for success. If you've always wanted to be a guy/girl, maybe you should dress in a more masculine or feminine way. This doesn't mean to completely close off the doors to the ideals of your sex's typical dressing habits. Maybe that skirt was actually cute on you and you enjoyed it, or maybe those pants look great on girlish figures too. But incorporating certain pieces with more masculine/feminine elements could help you to express yourself. I'm not saying go out and buy a hundred dresses if you're not comfortable with that. In fact, gender neutral may be the way to go. Certain pieces such as low cut v necks and vests could go with any gender. -
7Personality...So perhaps your insides don't match your outsides. No biggie. If people judge you, their opinion doesn't matter. Remember, the people that will make the greatest positive difference in your life are those that care. You wouldn't ask a bully for their opinion on whether or not they should take you lunch money, so why would you ask a negative person what they think about your way of thinking? -
8Take other's opinions with a grain of salt. -
9Walk your own path. If you think you want plastic surgery, by all means, do it. At all times though, consider what the repercussions of your actions will be. -
10Make some friends with other trans gender people. This could mean joining gay/straight alliance and going to the gay parade, or simply getting more involved in your community.Ad
EditTips
- Expressing yourself is the best way to keep from going crazy.
- Often, people who are transsexual/trans-gender will not be able to bear their biological gender for very long. If you're transsexual/trans-gender it's better to transition earlier rather than later - but don't let anyone rush you. This is a decision that is yours alone to make. Keep this in mind.
- Don't force your opinion on others or get mad at them if they don't understand. Remember we all come from different walks of life and they have just as much as a right to their opinion as you do.
- When it comes to formal events, traditional feminine wear is dresses. If you don't feel comfortable in a dress a suit is optional or even a skirt. If you don't like heels, wear flats or men's shoes.
- So maybe you've always wanted to be a transvestite but never had the guts. Maybe you're in love with a girl when you're a girl, and she's straight...Maybe you just have always like masculine over feminine or vice versa. Ah well, learn to live in your own skin! This article is for the people who desire to be another gender. Some people would just be more comfortable in the opposite sex's shoes (perfectly understandable).
- If you're really transsexual / trans-gendered (see Wikipedia), then you should not consider living as the wrong gender. Be yourself and do only what makes you happy; don't try to stay as you are physically just to please others!
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EditWarnings
- When you hang with the boys, be prepared to hear jokes about sex. Guys do this quite often. If you aren't sure how to react, just laugh along throwing in a few jokes once in awhile. If you find this offensive, find a new group of friends.
