How to Fake Being an Expert at Something You Have a Moderate Amount of Knowledge in
Have you ever wanted to not be an awful human being and finally be decent or even great at something? Well, that's unfortunate. Being good at stuff can be hard. But lying to people's faces about how good you are at things is nowhere near as hard. This is a step-by-step guide to putting on a face that isn't yours and faking being an expert/savant at just about anything.
EditSteps
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1Develop a cursory knowledge at the subject you want to be an expert in. This will take a little time. For example, if you want to be an expert in music, gain knowledge of as many groups or singers as you can remember. Aim for at least 2 items of information in each group, preferably lesser known items.Ad
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2Limit exposing your new-found expertise until you are comfortable with how semi-knowledgeable you are. Beware of people who may actually know more about the subject than you!
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3Don't be afraid to fake who you are right to some idiot's face. Faking being an expert is all about confidence, and acting as though your knowledge has just come to you in a dream, or something of the sort. Project your apathy and nonchalance towards your new-found expertise as you would talking to a friend about your laundry.
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4Don't be afraid to lie. If someone quizzes you and you don't know the answer, hopefully your background knowledge is good enough that you can reply with something relatively close to the actual answer. The majority of the time, the quizzer will just be amazed at how quickly and confidently you responded and take your word for it. However, in the event they follow up and you are wrong...
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5Own your mistakes. Say that you realized that you messed up, and that you realize where you messed up. This gives you control of the situation, in which case you can hopefully relate the question back to a more obscure piece that will make you seem like you're so deep in the culture that you forgot about more mainstream works.
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6Don't be afraid to fabricate things. If you know you can get by on half-doing your answers, you can do so carefully. Make the answers sound realistic, and don't be afraid to draw connections that don't exist. And when the lore of your adeptness has been set in stone...
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7Refrain from bringing it up anymore. People now know that you are an expert at whatever it is you are an expert at, you do not need to tarnish your reputation by messing up or revealing your true identity as a wannabe sack of crap.Ad
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EditTips
- Leave all moral obligations at the door. You don't owe nobody nothing!
EditWarnings
- Avoid people with actual expertise.
- Avoid having a heart or soul.
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