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There are many factors involved in calculating whether or not you will be compatible with the person who wish to date. It is important to take these steps into consideration before you take the plunge - it will save your time and your heart!

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EditSteps

  1. Calculate Love Compatibility Step 1.jpg
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    Understand your Attachment Style. Attachment theory designates three main "attachment styles", or manners in which people perceive and respond to intimacy in romantic relationships: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant.[1] People with each of these attachment styles differ in their view of intimacy and togetherness, the way they deal with conflict, their attitude toward sex, their ability to communicate their wishes and needs, and their expectations from their partner and the relationship. To choose the right mate, or to improve your relationship with the one you already have, it is important that you understand each other's attachment styles, and learn how to work through your differences.[2]
    • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy, and are usually warm and loving. Just over 50% of people, both children and adults, are Secure.
    • Anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. Around 20% of the population are Anxious.
    • Avoidant people equate intimacy with loss of independence, and constantly try to minimize closeness. Around 25% of people are Avoidant.
    • "Disorganized" people, who are both anxious and avoidant, represent around 3 to 5% of the population.
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  2. Calculate Love Compatibility Step 2.jpg
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    What do you want from your life? You have to decide what things in life take top priority: Kids, career, lifestyle choices. If you want kids, and your partner doesn't - DO NOT DEPEND ON THEM CHANGING THEIR MIND. They won't, and if you keep pressuring them they will resent you. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page in terms of where your lives are going and what you are going to accomplish together.
  3. Calculate Love Compatibility Step 3.jpg
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    Do they have the qualities and share values you are looking for? Take a look at your close friends and family that you admire. What are their qualities and core values? Do you find yourself drawn to people who are honest, ambitious, attractive and have good family values? Be true to what you need and want in your life and determine if your partner shares these qualities and values.
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EditTips

  • Make sure you can be yourself around them
  • Sharing hobbies are a bonus but not a must - sometimes time apart from your partner is healthy

EditWarnings

  • Don't count the superficial factors! Money, power and material objects can all be lost or taken away.

EditRelated wikiHows

How to
Use Modern Psychology to Understand Romantic Love

EditSources and Citations

  1. ↑ Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep -love. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher.
  2. ↑ There are free quizzes available online, such as this one, developed by the authors of "Attached": http://www.attachedthebook.com/compatibility-quiz/

Article Info

Categories: Dating | Relationships

Recent edits by: Jeff, Jimena, Chris

In other languages:

Português: Como Calcular a Compatibilidade Afetiva, Español: Cómo calcular la compatibilidad en el amor, Français: Comment calculer une compatibilité amoureuse, Русский: рассчитать любовную совместимость

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