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Awkward moments are terrible! Have you ever been in a conversation where suddenly an awkward moment just pounced on you and you weren't sure if you were going to survive it? Awkwardness is pretty gross and it can sometimes be so bad that it hurts or even destroys a relationship.

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    Be careful where you point those hard questions. Questions that are too hard can lead to quite the awkward moment, especially when the person doesn’t want to think very hard. Some examples of questions that may be uncomfortably hard include: “What are the advantages of Keynesian economics?” “What assumptions about human nature does Mill make in expressing his theory?” These questions may cause discomfort if your friend doesn’t want to think very hard or doesn’t know very much about the topic. Sometimes people want easy questions and sometimes they want some more substantial ones. Failing to be sensitive to others’ body language and tone of voice may cause others to cower under their desks whenever you walk by.
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    Remember that criticism almost always incurs resentment. Nobody likes receiving criticism. It offends your pride and violates your sense of importance. Consider a husband, Paul, and his wife, Jenny. Paul comes home from work and sees a messy house. He immediately says, "Okay kids, let's clean the house!" This wasn't direct criticism, but Jenny could easily take it as indirect criticism and it could cause her to feel awkward and very hurt. Paul could have hung out for a bit and then cleaned up the house without drawing attention. Yes, sometimes criticism is helpful and maybe Jenny needed some of it, but it almost always incurs awkwardness and resentment.
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    It's OK to not know someone's name. Calling someone by the wrong name or not knowing a name can be very awkward. If this happens to you, kindly and confidently admit it. This kind of thing happens all the time and there's no need to be ashamed of it. Showing embarrassment will probably make the situation even more awkward.
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    Avoid talking too much. Talking too much makes people feel trapped and annoyed. The quickest way to make people afraid of you is to talk too much. Be sensitive to others’ body language and tone so you can be sure that you’re not putting them to sleep.
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    Be clear. Vague comments usually cause confusion. Asking too vague a question can sometimes introduce a little awkwardness. For example, you may ask, “How was your weekend,” and then they struggle to think of a satisfying answer, so they say, “Fine.” It’s often better to ask more specific questions, like, “What are you up to today,” or, “How was the marathon?” These questions are more specific and require a little less work to answer. The easier you are to talk to, the more folks will want to talk to you.
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    Forgive syntax or logic errors. Have you ever made an argument only to have someone nitpick at a syntax error you made? Taking advantage of one because of his words is very annoying and almost always incurs awkwardness and frustration. Consider an argument that Joey makes to his friend Paige: "Offering the tenant to have pets in the house makes the offer more attractive." Paige then takes advantage of Joey's use of the general term "pets": "Oh great, so then someone brings in a horse!" Joey rolls his eyes and explains, with a frustrated tone of voice, what he meant when he said "pets." Paige knew what Joey meant and was just being a jerk. Don’t be a jerk. Instead, look for something good in your companion's comment and help develop a conversation that your companion can enjoy.
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    Be cognizant if others aren't following you. It can be a little awkward when someone shares something with you but you don't understand what they're talking about. The longer they go on, the more awkward it gets. For example, say your friend, Marco, is talking to you about whether or not MOOCs were going to be the end of higher education. You don’t know what a MOOC is, but you don’t interrupt to ask because you don’t want to look like an idiot. Ten minutes later on this topic, you really feel dumb because you still don’t know that it stands for Massive Open Online Course. If only your companion had sensed your awkwardness and relieved you! Don’t make the same mistake. Instead, try to recognize when your companion isn't quite following the topic.
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    Forgive yourself for saying something stupid. "Half this game is ninety percent mental." Huh? Sometimes stupid comments just slip out and before you know it, everyone around you lies down on the floor and starts laughing. If this happens to you, try casually and confidently admitting that your statement didn't make sense. Consider Jake’s comment: "Of course she will win if all family members vote for her every day!" Jake then realizes that he is mistaken and says, "well... she has a good chance of winning if all family members vote for her every day." Saying inaccurate statements can open the door to an awkward moment, but you can quickly defuse it by being open and confident.
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Categories: Conversation Skills

Recent edits by: Zach, Krystle, June

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