“Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.” – A. C. Benson What if who you are today is nothing compared to who you can become? I believe this is the case for all of us. I believe we can transform and reinvent ourselves. Instead of looking at your past self with...

We are social beings. Assertiveness is a style of communication and is the most effective type of the four types of communication. Unfortunately, assertiveness is not used as often as people should. All of us use each of the four styles of communication, and as a result some of our interactions can be unsatisfying and frustrating. The following blog will describe...

There is just something about those people who seem to never give up — in spite of all life throws their way. It seems that no matter what obstacles they face, they keep fighting. And what they accomplish, if often pretty amazing. Naturally we wonder, what is it the drives people like that? The answer is grit. This surprising...

If you’re one of the many people who goes into a downward spiral during the holiday season (or if you love someone who does), this one’s for you.1)  Identify what’s happening internally. Symptoms often start in your body (for example, you’re exhausted because you’re getting depressed, or your stomach bothers you because of anxiety.)  You might not even recognize these physical...

As baseball’s Winter Meetings wrapped up yesterday in San Diego, among the teams to make the most noise were the Chicago Cubs, picking up several players including prized free agent pitcher Jon Lester. All of their acquisitions made members of the media wonder whether the time has come, and if the Cubs will once again...

For years now I’ve been studying about what helps create more resilience and happiness within us. I’ve looked to my own life, the life of my clients and students and toward the psychological and neuroscience research. What I’ve found is that within each and every one of us are a core set of natural anti-depressants that when we intentionally...

In the last few months Brian and I have been planning our wedding (while experiencing some unexpected drama with our venue), and making improvements on our house. I’ve been revising my book while working on my normal writing projects. Brian has been swamped at work. And, of course, we have the holidays. Things have been...

Learn to do what makes a difference. Living with a life-threatening or debilitating chronic medical condition—regardless of age—can easily leave you feeling powerless and depressed. However, there are ways to change this. Skill-building catalyzes mastery. With specific skill-building practices, it is possible to live with a sense of mastery and wellbeing—of feeling fully in charge of your life, even when receiving...

There is no doubt that we are surrounded by stigma. Just the fact that we are parents and have a mental illness is enough for everyone to think it’s okay to judge us. But our biggest critics are ourselves. Often we find ourselves turning the stigma inwards.  Being a mom of 7 kiddos and having bipolar disorder is no...

I had plans today, plans to meet a friend for coffee, plans to leave this house. I didn’t make it. I had nightmares this morning – weird shit that makes no sense when you try to crack it open in the light of day, but is enough to startle you awake in the dark to a pounding heart. It...

Do you get into frequent arguments or fights? Do you sometimes have angry outbursts or difficulty controlling your aggressive behavior? Has anger ruined your relationships at work or in your personal life? Do you blame others for your behavior or how you are feeling? Anger is a normal emotion, but when it takes control over you it can have serious...

Here is an example of how to use an apparently “irrelevant” memory to shed light on problems in the present. Edgar is a survivor. He is proud of his survival skills. He sees life as a disaster waiting to happen. Edgar has survived two marriages, a grim childhood with an alcoholic father and a joyless mother, the death of a sibling...

Fast food is a staple for many people in the United States. Some reports suggest that on average, we spend a whopping $1,200.00 a year on quick eats like burgers, pizzas and fried chicken. It has long been established that America’s addiction to fast food is a major cause of obesity. But what is the emotional...

Ruminating with purpose There are hundreds of articles and books that guide you to stop looking back at your past in order to move forward. I’m sure you’ve heard of or encountered at some point in your life someone to tell you that you need to get over your past or certain aspects of it. What does that even...

I just read a newsletter with this great idea in it: Gift to yourself this holiday! This good advice comes from colleague, Arlene Englander, LCSW, at The Wellness Source. Arlene writes: Each holiday season we make a list of gifts to give to family and friends to show our love and appreciation for the role they play in...

“All right, listen up people …. “ I can maintain my focus. I don’t need much to maintain my focus. All I need is a list and an audience. The night before last I had a job to do. I was the Master of Ceremonies for...

Do you believe you need a better nutritional strategy in order to lose weight? Research has shown that, chances are very high that you already know enough about how to eat well and lose weight. That isn’t the problem at all! Our good friend Dr. Jeremy Dean  from the superb PsyBlog points out that according to research,...

I don’t know why they say, “Go to your doctor.” I’ve been in a hole the past week and need a doctors note to justify my absence at work which really isn’t happening and shows the stupidity of the modern age to expect someone with a mental illness to make it a doctor for a note. I’m not VespaGirl lately. I...

As children, the holidays are things that we remember for our entire lives. Looking back at my childhood, I recall special moments of sneaking down the stairs Christmas morning to peek at the tree. I remember Easter egg hunts and trick-or-treating with friends. These are the memories that make us smile, and make us determined that our children have the...

Do you look forward to seeing your family at the holidays, but then often come away feeling vaguely disappointed, confused, angry or guilty? If this is true of you, then you need answers to what is truly going on in your family.  And you need them quickly since The Holidays are here. Is it possible to make this year’s family gathering...

How do you know all the words without looking at the back of the cards?  A fifth grade student was amazed that I knew every word on the American Heritage Dictionary’s Top 100 Words Every Middle Schooler Should Know  list. She only recognized five. I assured her that soon she would also know...

Touch enriches our lives. A  caress from a loved one. The feeling of a worn cotton tee shirt. A tickly kiss from a child. The spring of dough being kneaded. The soft petal of a rose. But some people have aversions to one or more types of normally enjoyed or tolerated touch. If you find your aversion to touch interferes with your personal life,...

As devastating as schizophrenia can be, a number of people with the mental illness lead active and creative lives. Some research even indicates the type of thinking that characterizes the disorder can facilitate creativity. Some of the possible symptoms include: “Hearing or seeing things that are not there (hallucinations); Isolation; Reduced emotion; Problems paying attention; Strongly...

‘Tis the season of giving. The perfect gift for me would be something to help me with the day-to-day circus that is life with ADHD. Something like, say, these fine (and fictitious) products. If only! Mood-detection gifts 1 ) Emoti-glasses Reading other people’s facial expressions is a crap shoot at best. Emoti-glasses would do the work...

Medicating When It Is not Needed                        Creativity is a complex and vast construct that has been vital to the progress of human civilization and the development of human reasoning processes. Indeed, the immense array of creative endeavors encompasses the works of such disparate activities as those undertaken by painters, sculptors,...

I’m back! Sorry I disappeared for a while, folks. I’ve been busy with book talks for Parenting in the Present Moment, working on my next book about teaching mindfulness to children (New Harbinger, 2015), helping my big girl transition to kindergarten, my little girl transition to not being in the same school as her big sister (The tears! Oh,...

It’s easy to be negative. The human mind is wired to detect and dwell on negative events and circumstances. Think about cavemen who went out hunting and gathering food for their families. Those who survived did so because they were sharply attuned to possible attacks from saber-toothed tigers lurking in the bush. In modern times, we...

There are a lot of things we are told about happiness. Maybe it’s because happiness something we all want — but like an elusive prize — it seems to evade us all. Or maybe we believe a lot of things about happiness that are just not true. And who would know? Well happy people would. And here are four myths about...