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Three Methods:Prepare for the Death of a SpouseTake Care of Yourself

If your spouse is dying, you may go through a variety of strong emotions, ranging from anger, frustration, hopelessness, and finally, acceptance. Preparing for death is a difficult process. You may have to provide care for your spouse as well as make sure your finances and estate are in order. It's important to take care of yourself as well, so that you may help your spouse transition at this critical time of their life's journey.

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Method 1 of 3

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    Discuss your finances with your spouse and make sure you know account numbers, passwords, billing arrangements and insurance information.
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    2
    Talk to an attorney and get your spouse's will in order. If your spouse does not want to be connected to machines that will keep their bodies alive, be sure to have a living will in place so that their wishes can be carried out. Part of the dying process is getting your spouse's affairs in order.
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    Converse about funeral arrangements and find out if your spouse wants a coffin or prefers cremation. This may be a difficult topic to discuss, but it's important to be open and honest so you can carry out their requests.
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    Make a checklist when you are preparing for death. When your spouse dies, you may find yourself in emotional turmoil, and might not be able to remember information that you normally would.
    • Include important phone numbers, such as who you may need to call in an emergency, insurance agents, lawyers, family members and doctors.
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    • List insurance and medical policy numbers, investment and other financial account numbers, along with passwords, social security information, and login data for websites.
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    • The death of a spouse may leave you feeling overwhelmed, so it's important to keep your checklist in a location where you, a friend, or family member can find it.
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    Make a rough draft of your monthly budget, factoring in living expenses and income.
    • Estimate how much money you have in savings, bonds, retirement funds or life insurance policies. You may also be eligible for Social Security benefits. Remember, after your spouse dies, you will still need to pay the monthly bills.
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    • When you are preparing for the death of a spouse, you may have to consider looking for part time employment or think about ways to remain financially solvent after your spouse dies.
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Method 2 of 3: Prepare for the Death of a Spouse

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    1
    Give your spouse permission to die. Part of the dying process is letting go.
    • When your spouse is nearing death, they may show physical signs, such as increased sleeping, cool arms, hands and feet, wetting themselves, or have difficulty breathing.
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    • When your spouse seems unresponsive, sees visions, or doesn't know where they are, they may be close to death. This is part of the dying process.
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    • A spouse may hold on and not let go because they are worried for you. Assure them that you will be OK.
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    2
    Tell your spouse goodbye.
    • Let doctors, nurses, and hospice staff advise you on when to say goodbye to your spouse. These workers have experienced the dying process before and have a better understanding of when it is time to say goodbye.
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    • Say goodbye to your spouse when preparing for death. You may hold their hand, sit beside them, or lay on the bed with them. It's up to you. This may be your last opportunity to let them know you love them.
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Method 3 of 3: Take Care of Yourself

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    1
    Seek community support services, such as hospice, grief counseling or respite care, when preparing for the death of a spouse. You do not have to go through this ordeal by yourself. Hospice provides services to individuals who are dying, including in-home nursing, counseling and doctor's visits.
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    2
    Try to do something good for yourself every day, such as taking a walk, eating out with a friend, or taking a few minutes to read a book or watch a movie. Preparing for the death of a spouse may be physically and mentally exhausting, and you need to take care of yourself so that you can continue to care for your spouse.
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    3
    Give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Preparing for the death of a spouse may be the hardest thing you have ever done. Consider joining a support group where you may safely express your emotions.
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Categories: Death Funerals and Bereavement

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