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As you grow older, sometimes you might catch yourself thinking: "Should I be jealous of all the younger women?" As you leave one decade of your life behind, it is easy to have a dreaded feeling of "Will all of this change?" "Will I one day become jealous of things like youth and beauty?" This can be even harder if you are not married or even in a relationship, causing you to think, "If I don't find someone by a certain age, what will become of me? Won't I have more competition?" Here are some things to contemplate, and a suggestion to ask yourself some questions.

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Steps

  1. Get a Guy Who Is Suffering from Strong Breakup Trauma Step 5
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    Think about why you feel jealous. Jealousy is actually masked fear. Fear that you won't be loved. Fear that you might end up alone. Fear that if you wait too long to find someone you really love, you may end up empty-handed. Perhaps you are you worried that you may run out of options very soon? When we are jealous, it's because there is something missing from our lives.
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  2. Make Friends in a New Town Step 12
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    Accept that love counts and that this might be spurring your jealousy in part. We may put up a brave face and say it does not matter. We don't need a man to make things alright. But the truth is - we do need love. We need someone who holds a mirror to our pain, who appreciates how hurt we can get, how small and lonely we feel sometimes. Consider how you can get this love that will serve as a balm to your spirit and that will pick you up when you are feeling down:
  3. Make Friends in a New Town Step 6
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    If you are waiting for someone else to love you, start becoming a closed system. By opening up - by loving consciously - you can get in touch with your own feelings and start a cycle that will bring more love back to you.
  4. Win over Your Boyfriend's Mum Step 6
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    Think about why would anyone really be jealous of a younger woman. Perhaps it is because you think that as you grow older, your options shrink. There are less men available and those that are our own age usually prefer someone younger. To some extent, this is true. In a country like India, marriage is the norm. Most people get married by their mid-twenties. So, looked at from this point of view, the available pool of men does become less. Thoughts like these fan your fears but the real truth lies somewhere in the middle:
    • Yes, it's true that there are fewer men. But the truth is that there are enough men. What you are really scared of is getting involved with someone who is wrong for you. So, your work lies in getting to the heart of why you are still single in this case.
      Show That You Value Relationships Step 5
    • There are many reasons - some of the less personal ones being - "I think I won't be able to handle an adult relationship", "I think I may be too needy", "I think I am too much of a rescuer to choose the right kind of man", "I am scared of being vulnerable, of trusting the wrong person".
      Cope With Leaving Someone You Love Step 7
  5. Stop Being Jealous of Younger Women Step 5
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    Separate all the tangled threads of your beliefs and assumptions and start examining them one by one. All of us have our own distinct issues that stop us from having loving relationships but once you do the inner work, you can at least start to look for the partner who will be right for you.
  6. Win over Your Boyfriend's Mum Step 8
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    Think about whether you are worried about your appearance when you see younger women. Questions you might ask yourself include: "Are my looks all that I am?" Or, to rephrase that question: "Am I just an age?" "Am I defined by whether I am 25 or 30 or 45?" "Is my identity defined by a man?" Or "am I my own person?" "Am I living everyday?" "Am I growing as time passes?" "Am I saying more of my truth?"
  7. Make Friends in a New Town Step 9
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    Understand the importance of relationships for women. As women, we place our relationships above almost everything in our lives. And when we think that there is a piece missing from our perfect lives - we don't have a husband or a family - we start discounting all that we have done and achieved. Okay, so you may not have it all at this point. But does that mean that what you have is not worth celebrating?
  8. Get a Guy Who Is Suffering from Strong Breakup Trauma Step 6
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    Look at what you do have and be grateful. Sometimes, all we can look at are the things we do not have. When we can count all that does exist in our lives, all that we can be thankful for, then we let go of the need to have one thing make us happy. So many things can make us happy. Do you really want to derive all your sense of self-worth and happiness from being with a man? Is that all that should give us validity? And is that all that you are? Aren't you a person first and then a woman? Isn't it sickening that all that society seems to define women by is whether we are with a man or not (at least some societies)? Maybe what you need to do is define yourself and what gives you happiness more clearly?
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