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Sometimes you'll be in a group of friends or involved in a single friendship, and someone else will come along. The group or friend will go crazy over the newcomer, and start leaving you out of everything. Before you know it, you've been replaced and are in a lot of pain. How do you move on from this, and make new friends?

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EditSteps

  1. Deal With Being Replaced Step 1.jpg
    1
    Accept that this can be truly painful and that your unhappiness is valid.You have a lot of questions about what happened, and you may not get the answers to them. If you're hurt by this, then do what you must to heal your pain but don't blame yourself.
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  2. Deal With Being Replaced Step 2.jpg
    2
    Examine the reasons why they replaced you.Think it over and try to deduce the right answer. If they replaced you simply because the newcomer was 'cooler' than you, then they weren't your friends to start with. If you had some sort of conflict before the newcomer arrived, then you may not have gotten along with them. Either way, if they had to choose one over the other with their friendships, then they probably aren't the best friends you could have. A true friend would never replace you.
  3. Deal With Being Replaced Step 3.jpg
    3
    Avoid getting angry. Remember that if they can't accept you for who you are, then they're simply accepting your persona, or the mask that you present to others. If they can't get beyond that mask, then they must be either unwelcoming of people different from them, or they liked the mask more than they liked you.
  4. Deal With Being Replaced Step 4.jpg
    4
    Don't be jealous of the newcomer. Don't associate with them if you don't want to. But always remember that they may get replaced one day, and possibly by the exact same group or person. Just know that things will work themselves out, and that will be the best revenge you could have.
  5. Deal With Being Replaced Step 5.jpg
    5
    Make new friends. Try to learn about them as much as you can, and hang out when possible. Look for people with whom you have things in common. Be yourself, and don't let that pesky mask fool people. When that mask does the talking, you'll be setting yourself up for the replacement game all over again.
  6. Deal With Being Replaced Step 6.jpg
    6
    Confront your friend (optional). If you tell your friends how this has made you feel, they may realise how they have made you feel. Be confident, you're not the one who is in the wrong.
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EditTips

  • Always remember that a true friend will accept you for who you really are, no matter what. And that they will never replace you. It's about quality over quantity, and having the patience to wait for the true friend.
  • Spend more time with other friends or doing fun activities rather than thinking about this.
  • In the case of newcomers, a truly good friend would go out of their way to accommodate both the newcomer and everyone in the group – including you.
  • Stay confident.
  • If you have problems making new friends, don't be afraid to re-connect with your family members or acquaintances you've overlooked.
  • Talk with others about your pain. This can be anyone who will listen to you and keep your pain confidential.
  • When you make friends, base the common traits on personality over anything else. If you like the same TV shows or the same clothes, that's great. But if you have the same sense of humour, the same beliefs, etc., that will be even better.
  • Talk to a counselor, friend, or family member.
  • When jealousy and a desire for revenge erupt, remember the above principle. It's only a matter of time before they get replaced, and are in the same boat that you are (or have been) in. And that will be the best revenge, since you didn't have to do anything to get it.
  • Are you involved in the creative arts, and did the friendship(s) take serious time away from that? Then you can get back to work on these skills, and use the replacement as fuel for your poetry, paintings, stories, etc.
  • Remember the principle of 'you get what you give.' This will help when you encounter the newcomer or the former friends.
  • People that can't get beyond your persona are very shallow. And who wants to hang out with shallow people?
  • Find the best way for you to cope with this.

EditWarnings

  • Don't play the replacement game yourself. This will put you on the same level as the replacers, which isn't very nice or considerate. Be a good person and include everyone in the group, and spend time with all your friends.

EditThings You'll Need

  • Tissues
  • self confidence

Article Info

Categories: Social Nuisances

In other languages:

Español: lidiar con ser reemplazado, Русский: справиться с тем, что вас заменили, Português: Lidar Com o Fato de Você Ter Sido Substituído por Outra Pessoa

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