It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Board member keeps bringing her kids to meetings
I am working with a group of parents who are organizing a charter school. The school opens in September, so we are in the middle of dozens of different projects. As the board president, I never bring my son to board meetings, as I need to focus on the agenda. One other board member, who is also a friend, frequently brings her children to board meetings. They are 6 and 7 years old and are frequently loud and disruptive during these meetings.
This parent is on the orientation committee for the school principal, who starts working next week. Today she told me that she will be bringing her kids to the orientation meeting. The meeting will include reviewing the employee handbook, explaining policies and procedures, and reviewing the employee’s work plan. It will be a long and intensive meeting. Because our site is undergoing refurbishment, we have no choice but to meet in a coffee shop at a private table.
Keeping in mind that this person is also a friend, and is also quite sensitive, how do I tell the parent that it is inappropriate to bring her children to this meeting?
“Unfortunately we can’t accommodate kids at this meeting; it’s going to be long and intensive and we’re really going to need everyone focused, and having to do it in a coffee shop is already going to make that challenging.”
That’s a completely reasonable thing to say, and you shouldn’t let her being sensitive deter you from saying it.
I’d also think about whether you want to take on the broader pattern of her bringing her kids to other meetings too. Do you want to allow kids to accompany parents to these meetings? Are you willing to allow it only if they’re quiet and not disruptive? Only in rare emergencies? Not at all? I don’t know what your preference is, but if you do want her to start handling this differently, tell her! It would be totally reasonable to say, “Imogen and Falcon are great kids, but it’s turning out to be distracting to have them at meetings. Can you make other arrangements?”
However, I would brace yourself to hear that she can’t attend at all if she can’t bring them and decide ahead of time how you’d want to respond to that. Are her contributions worth the price of the distraction of the kids? Are they worth having other attendees annoyed that they presumably arranged child care and she didn’t? Her contributions very well may be significant enough that they trump those concerns, but I’d think it through beforehand so you’re prepared if that’s where the conversation goes.
2. Responding to an unofficial salary offer
I am currently a candidate for a job with a state government agency. I interviewed 2 months ago, and since then, have just been waiting for bureaucracy to grind along. The supervisor for the position just called me to say that she is not yet authorized to make an offer, but she wanted to unofficially float the salary past me to find out if I was still interested before she sunk in time (possibly multiple weeks) pursuing approval to possibly make me an offer. The salary is at the low end of the published range, and is much lower than I am currently making, although the cost of living difference would make it fairly comparable.
I asked for some time to think about it, but I am troubled. If I say that I would consider taking that amount, am I ruining my chances for negotiation when the offer actually comes? If I say I wouldn’t take that amount, I think I will be out of the running completely without her being able to check with HR to make sure that they couldn’t meet my counter. Do you have any thoughts about this situation?
I’d say, “That’s lower than I was anticipating, so I’d need to give it some thought. I was hoping for something in the $X range — is that possible?”
Basically, you’re starting to negotiate now and talking about what salary you’re looking for, without saying you absolutely wouldn’t accept the first number.
3. Finding a job after multi-level-marketing sales
One of my friends got heavily involved in selling a multi-level marketing (MLM) product (Beachbody/Shakeology). She quit her job to be a “coach” and described herself as an entrepreneur and small business owner – neither of which was even close to true but she swallowed the company line, hook and sinker. Anyway, she was successful for a time but ultimately realized that the company/business was not what it was cracked up to be and she started to get suspicious about the business model.
Now she wants to return to the workforce, especially since her revenue is diminishing. How can she re-enter the workforce and characterize her time spent involved in an MLM? I was thinking something like “independent sales consultant” but even listing the company name might be a red flag (like with the University of Phoenix discussion).
Any advice for her? Also, any words of wisdom for people thinking of getting involved in an MLM? We tried to warn her, but so many of her friends were involved. And I’m seeing more and more people I know getting involved in these things.
All she can really do it is own it — list it, and list the achievements she had while doing that work. If she was good at it, she should be able to demonstrate sales, marketing, and/or customer service skills. Most employers will be more interested in those things than in the product she was representing. (But she shouldn’t oversell what she did either; it should be straightforward, not inflated. That means that she should not list herself as an entrepreneur or small business owner, but rather as a salesperson.)
Which isn’t to say that no one will raise their eyes at the MLM aspect of it; some people will. But I think it’ll matter less than you’re worried it will. It’s far more annoying to her friends than to an employer, as long as she’s not still pitching the products when she’s talking with/working with them.
4. Interviewer asked if I’d be willing to work unpaid overtime
At a recent second interview for a database analyst position, the interviewer stated, “This is a contract position – no benefits,” then asked “How do you feel about doing unpaid overtime?” with a clear verbal intonation suggesting the “right” answer. The interviewer was unable/unwilling to state how many overtime hours, how often overtime is required, or offer any other relevant details on which to make an informed decision.
Is there a way to answer this without being immediately dismissed from consideration? Can one negotiate how many “standard” vs. “overtime” hours one is willing to work? Is this even legal to ask? I know the tech industry is exempt from overtime rules but still…
If it’s an exempt position, they’re not required to pay overtime, and thus there’s nothing illegal about asking, essentially, “are you willing to work long hours?” On the other hand, if the position is non-exempt (and there are non-exempt tech positions; I don’t know if this was one of them or not), asking someone to work unpaid overtime is announcing you plan to break the law.
I’d respond by asking, “Can you give me a sense of how many hours people in this position work in an average week?” If the person refused to answer — which I think is what you’re saying happened here — I’d take that as a massive red flag. It’s basically an announcement that they’re going to wildly overwork you and not even do you the courtesy of having an honest conversation with you about what your work life would be like there.
You asked how to answer without being dismissed from consideration, but there’s no reason to want to stay in the running at that point. Remember you’re supposed to be interviewing them right back and deciding if you even want the job, not just waiting to be chosen.
5. I feel insulted by this email from an employer
I am currently a VP of IT in a small business that is part of global public business for last 14 years and previously I have been in a director position for larger companies and had more than 20 direct reports. About a month ago, I was interviewed for a director-level position for a big company. Today I received an email from their recruiting partner, saying the following:
“I wanted to follow up with you and let you know where we are with our search. I realize there has been a long delay so my apologies. As of now, we have interviewed two candidates for the position on-site – you and another candidate. The overall assessment from the interviews was that both you and the other candidate may be a fit for Sr. Manager level, but not Director at this time. Part of this has to do with comparisons to other Sr. Managers in the organization. We are in the process of trying to determine whether the position can be filled at the Sr. Manager level or not. I will do my best to keep you posted, but that is where we are as of now.”
I am wonder if I should even answer this email or not. If yes, what should I say in my email? That is somehow an insult to me, telling me I am good for a lower level position, while I have been interviewed by seven VPs and directors there and noticed they are not that good. That is why they have 400 tickets open for just customer service issues.
Yes, you should answer the email. I’d say something like “Thanks so much for the update; I appreciate knowing where things are, and I’ll look forward to hearing back from you once things are moving forward.”
I don’t read their email as insulting. They’re being honest about where they are in their deliberations; most candidates would love to get that kind of transparency from employers. And it’s not insulting that they think you’re a better fit for manager than director; they just have a different structure than what you’ve experienced in the past. But you can certainly ask questions to get a better understanding of their thinking if they do end up asking you to move forward.
