
As anyone who gets sober after having spent most of his or her life drinking can attest, the original process is terrifying. I didn't admit to myself I was scared because I told myself I wasn't scared, let alone terrified, of anything. Without realizing it, I'd internalized the idea that I was not allowed to feel fear so instead it came up as other things: either that social anxiety or anger and sadness.
Gay bars have played an outsized role in the lives of many gay men. They're often our first introduction to the gay community, our entry to a Technicolor world after struggling to be true to ourselves in a black-and-white world. They're where we meet others like ourselves and realize we're not 'the only one.'
I knew what I was getting into when I went to see Amy the new documentary about Amy Winehouse. I had trepidations knowing what I had gone through with my own husband's battle with alcoholism. We all know her fate. I knew her ending before it happened exactly the same way I knew my husband's ending with this horrible disease.