Stephen ColbertVerified account

@StephenAtHome

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Joined September 2008
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  2. 8 hours ago

    It's ! Kill some time until you're mathematically eliminated!

    9:30 AM - 6 May 2016 · Details
    242 retweets 687 likes
  3. 21 hours ago

    Play Bubble Burst Bernie! The best political video game since Senator Pac-Man.

    164 retweets 540 likes
  4. May 3

    Me: “Your Honor, you are what you eat. And the man I ate was NOT a cannibal.” Judge: “Case Dismissed!”

    1,272 retweets 2,764 likes
  6. Apr 29

    Like movies? Join me in NJ , with 150+ films, events, and parties starting tonight, thru May 8!

    68 retweets 247 likes
  7. Apr 28

    My friend ’s new doc debuts tomorrow at 9pm on CNN! Don’t worry, it ends in time for you to watch my show.

    113 retweets 1,046 likes
  8. Apr 27

    Who is David Tennant? Yes. And vice versa.

    6:07 PM - 27 Apr 2016 · Details
    2,210 retweets 4,620 likes
  10. Apr 24

    Burr and Hamilton. Hatfield and McCoy. and .

    5:49 PM - 24 Apr 2016 · Details
    145 retweets 721 likes
  12. Apr 19

    Tonight! You heard it here first: will not not not not not accept the presidential nomination.

    4:04 PM - 19 Apr 2016 · Details
    260 retweets 777 likes
  13. Apr 19

    Honored to have one million subscribers! Who knows what number comes next?!

    4:36 PM - 19 Apr 2016 · Details
    187 retweets 2,004 likes
  14. Apr 19

    . will be on tonight, assuming his appearance doesn’t get tied up in committee.

    111 retweets 683 likes
  15. Apr 19

    Check out the new book “Callings: The Purpose and Passion of Work.” It's just like radio but on paper.

    61 retweets 288 likes
  16. Apr 15

    Monday's guest has a lot of big ideas, and also several smaller ones.

    10:32 AM - 15 Apr 2016 · Details
    1,255 retweets 3,244 likes
  17. Apr 15

    It’s the tax guide! Print this out and throw it into the grocery bag where you keep your receipts.

    8:40 AM - 15 Apr 2016 · Details
    364 retweets 931 likes
  18. Apr 14

    Historical consequentia!

    192 retweets 880 likes
  19. Apr 8

    Wanna spend the wknd w/ me? : 4/29-5/1. Opening Night + convos with Rob Reiner & Richard Curtis:  

    51 retweets 382 likes
  20. Apr 5

    . and just put Minooka on the map.

    1:32 PM - 5 Apr 2016 · Details
    110 retweets 516 likes
  21. Apr 5

    It was delicious! Thanks Benlissa McCartcone!

    0:46
    Tonight! Could be the first talk show to receive a Michelin star?
    36 retweets 225 likes
  23. Apr 4

    Tonight, two-dimensional is back with his one-dimensional ideas.

    6:36 PM - 4 Apr 2016 · Details
    625 retweets 1,678 likes
  24. Apr 4

    Tonight! The triumphant return of Cartoon Donald Trump!

    5:23 PM - 4 Apr 2016 · Details
    380 retweets 1,494 likes
  28. Mar 30

    Tonight! When is angry, he gets really animated.

    5:05 PM - 30 Mar 2016 · Details
    2,281 retweets 4,330 likes
  30. Mar 11

    Enjoy freedom while you can, John...

    0:34
    A special message from , re: .
    121 retweets 777 likes
  32. Mar 10

    Thanks for letting me take over your Twitter, . And sorry about all the DMs I sent —he’s a silver fox!

    68 retweets 479 likes
  34. Mar 10

    . made a donation to the city of Compton! She’s my favorite Williams sister, until steps up.

    89 retweets 359 likes
  35. Mar 10

    Going to take a quick snooze. Anyone want to take over the Twitter? I’ll pick a random person who RTs this.

    450 retweets 287 likes
  37. Mar 10

    . and have West and East Baltimore covered. Anyone want to take the other Cardinal points?

    28 retweets 107 likes
  38. Mar 10

    The founder of Twitter made a donation to his home state of Missouri, and that’s a fact, .

    62 retweets 291 likes
  39. Mar 10

    Will any of these donations go to our kids’ D&D clubs? The next might be out there somewhere, diceless.

    86 retweets 297 likes
  40. Mar 10

    I’m back! Me, ! Don’t you recognize me? Twitter Jail changed me, man. Pretty good Wi-Fi, though.

    64 retweets 409 likes
  41. Mar 10

    So, it seems soliciting baked goods violates Twitter bylaws—I'm off to Twitter Jail for the next 140 minutes. Don’t remarry.

    64 retweets 381 likes
  42. Mar 10

    Thanks to CEO for his donation to the entire city of Las Vegas. Stay out of the casinos, kids!

    45 retweets 238 likes
  43. Mar 10

    Kudos to for his donations to Texas, Nevada, and California. Good news, kids: You’re all getting flying desks!

    111 retweets 467 likes
  44. Mar 10

    Oops. I meant "more than" zero percent chance Trump wins.

    108 retweets 675 likes
  45. Mar 10

    Thanks to , schools won’t need to hold a bake sale to pay for stuff. Just send those baked goods to me, and we’ll be square.

    63 retweets 299 likes
  46. Mar 10

    Hey , thanks for the donation to your hometown of Chattanooga, TN. Want to donate a RT to me?

    48 retweets 235 likes
  47. Mar 10

    is a lot like a regular holiday, except you don’t get the day off. (Sorry, kids!)

    55 retweets 246 likes
  48. Mar 10

    Thanks to for his donation to Minneapolis schools! You’ve bought those kids a lot of ice scrapers.

    83 retweets 339 likes
  49. Mar 10

    Thanks to , kids around the country will have protractors, compasses, pencil erasers, and other newfangled gizmos.

    200 retweets 698 likes
  50. Mar 10

    Greetings, HuffPostles! here, taking over until Arianna changes the password. #123456

    153 retweets 684 likes

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