Matteo LaneVerified account

@MatteoLane

MTV's GirlCode, GuyCode, and Maria Callas. Bookings - sams@avalon-usa.com

New York City
matteolanecomedy.com
Joined May 2010
340 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. 13 hours ago

    Ladies, do you make the first move or nah?

    15 retweets 118 likes
  2. 17 hours ago

    Holy hell 😂😂

    & were singing hard as hell lol lol
  3. 19 hours ago

    We found and 's Christmas card for this year.

    12 retweets 77 likes
  4. 21 hours ago

    Pucker up! There's a steamy new ep of tonight at 11:30p on 🔥💋

    3 retweets 2 likes
  5. 23 hours ago

    Hosting a great FREE show tonight at 10pm. A lot of great comics.

    , and
    3 retweets 6 likes
  6. Aug 9

    Celebrate w/ tix to see + . Do it, dork.

    1 retweet 4 likes
  7. Aug 8

    Gays were meeting up in parks in the middle of the night way before PokemonGo

    27 retweets 146 likes
  8. Aug 7

    I'm such a narcissist that I try to catch my reflection in raindrops

    8 retweets 30 likes
  9. Aug 7

    I hated Home Improvement

    3 retweets 40 likes
  10. Aug 7

    Boys who play with Batman action figures end up looking like the penguin

    3 retweets 41 likes
  11. Aug 6

    Shut up

    Millennials are having less sex than Generation Xers
    4 retweets 14 likes
  12. Aug 6

    Were they in bee prison? Escape from where?

    30,000 to 60,000 bees escaped and stung people in an Oklahoma City Wal-Mart parking lot, 3 people hospitalized
    7 retweets 20 likes
  13. Aug 5

    And the message. Mostly the message.

    For Trump, the problem isn't the message. It's the messenger.
    8 retweets 24 likes
  14. Aug 5

    Is this ceremony taking place in Michaels Arts and Crafts?

    2 retweets 16 likes
  15. Aug 5

    How is this for a summer treat? + on Aug 17th!

    3 retweets 2 likes
  16. Aug 5

    "How else can I ruin my career?" - Mariah Carey

    5 retweets 22 likes
  17. Aug 5

    I ate a banana that was so big it made me uncomfortable.

    6 retweets 40 likes
  18. Aug 5

    This is what happens when people for 70 years say "well that's just Donald being Donald."

    3 retweets 9 likes
  19. Aug 5

    DAYUM! 7 pm

    5 retweets 9 likes
  20. Aug 4

    I just yelled, "FUCK YOU" to an Olive Garden commercial.

    12 retweets 86 likes

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