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Joined March 2008
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  1. 4 hours ago

    Lovelorn App Aches To Know Your Location

    2 replies 49 retweets 250 likes
  2. 5 hours ago

    Area Man Marks Territory On Bench With Sweaty Thigh Outline

    5 replies 150 retweets 733 likes
  3. Retweeted
    15 hours ago

    You’re A Computer. Can You Pass The Turing Test?

    3 replies 30 retweets 150 likes
  4. 6 hours ago

    Spaced-Out Flower Child Groovin’ On A Doobie Wave

    19 replies 384 retweets 1,312 likes
  5. 7 hours ago

    National Forest Service Recommends Campers Tie Up Their Food To Avoid Attracting Other Visitors

    2 replies 60 retweets 261 likes
  6. 8 hours ago

    Toy Prepares Child To One Day Pull Around Real Telephone On Wheels

    5 replies 259 retweets 966 likes
  7. 9 hours ago

    Shelling From Royal Caribbean’s M.S. ‘Allure’ Sinks Carnival Cruise Vessel That Crossed Into Disputed Waters

    28 replies 408 retweets 1,245 likes
  8. 10 hours ago

    Fish At Pretty Good Place In Its Life Right Now

    11 replies 261 retweets 961 likes
  9. 10 hours ago

    Home Depot Releases New Bluetooth Cordless Hose

    78 replies 1,406 retweets 3,531 likes
  10. 11 hours ago

    Stunned St. Peter’s Square Crowd Overhears Pope Francis Getting Bitched Out By God

    10 replies 236 retweets 951 likes
  11. 12 hours ago

    Disgusted Researchers Can’t Even Bring Themselves To Find Out How Much Mayo The Average American Consumes Yearly

    21 replies 303 retweets 912 likes
  12. 13 hours ago

    Nike Introduces New Line Of Sauce-Wicking Competitive Eating Apparel

    20 replies 475 retweets 1,257 likes
  13. 15 hours ago

    Star Tour Operator Points Out Massive Costner Dropping To Awed Passengers

    6 replies 14 retweets 117 likes
  14. 15 hours ago

    Mom Tucks Handwritten Guide On How To Use Netflix Into Coffee Table Drawer

    16 replies 162 retweets 888 likes
  15. 16 hours ago

    Historians Find Evidence Of Nation’s Founding Lobbyists’ Campaign To Influence Constitution

    3 replies 91 retweets 294 likes
  16. 17 hours ago

    Two-Month Freelance Gig Posted In ‘Careers’ Section Of Company’s Website

    3 replies 72 retweets 310 likes
  17. 18 hours ago

    Dive-Bombing Osprey Better Emerge From Lake With Something Awesome To Show For It

    9 replies 173 retweets 763 likes
  18. 18 hours ago

    Listen, Area Boss Gets It

    6 replies 166 retweets 911 likes
  19. Jul 29

    Biggest Snubs From The MLB Hall Of Fame

    1 reply 16 retweets 96 likes
  20. Jul 29

    Report: Bellagio Voted Best Casino For Standing Around Too Nervous To Approach A Poker Table

    15 replies 211 retweets 882 likes

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