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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 10

    Ok. Now that we've established I'm right about tv shows...talk to me in 2 weeks when you've all started Patriot. I'll wait.

  2. 1 hour ago

    Soooo.... women don't exist in American Gods?

  3. 2 hours ago
  4. 2 hours ago

    AMERICAN GODS YOU GUYS HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT.

  5. Retweeted
    3 hours ago
  6. 2 hours ago

    Thou shalt not worship false Kevin's.

  7. 3 hours ago

    Personally, I would like to read the Book of Kevin. Sure as fuck gonna be more interesting than the Bible.

  8. 4 hours ago

    Who knew making money bc you're the "President" would be so easy?

  9. 6 hours ago

    THANKS FOR FALLING ASLEEP 15 MINUTES BEFORE WE'RE HOME YOU JERK.

  10. 8 hours ago
  11. Retweeted

    When you haven't made the connection that your Twitter avatar is literally original content created by a writer

  12. Retweeted
    Apr 29
    Replying to

    Ironically, Marie said the same thing after "Let Them Eat Cake" went viral.

  13. Apr 29
  14. Apr 29

    I slept for 3 hours, got up for an hour and a half and am now in bed with white wine and Marie Antoinette. That came out wrong.

  15. Apr 29
  16. Apr 29
  17. Apr 29

    Yelling at Trump Supporters and drinking unsweetened iced green tea are the only things keeping me alive right now.

  18. Apr 29

    And was FIRED by the Obama Admin. In 2014. Idjit.

  19. Retweeted
    Apr 29

    On Facebook everyone can hear you scream.

  20. Apr 29
  21. Apr 29

    A girl came up and asked me the name of the song I was playing as the lyrics went "come on up to the house". :/ SHE CALLED ME MA'AM.

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