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Me: [print] Printer: You're low on ink Me: What? I just bought ink P: You're low on magenta Me: I want to print in black P: You need magenta Me: wtf I just need black & black is full P: magennnnta Me: [buys and installs $30 magenta cartridge] Me: [print] P: So, about your cyan
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Can't. Busy throwing away all my restaurant coupons that are valid for dine-in only.
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Me: [posting senior High School photo on Facebook] Child: What's that? Me: My high school senior photo. Child: You were actually good looking. Me: Um. Thanks? Child: What happened?pic.twitter.com/mhrEFFhq84
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Ok so we’re all in agreement that a dozen should mean 12 of something? [Baker kick’s down the door] not so fast
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Grandpa: “We hid from the pogroms in a root cellar for 2 weeks and ate a live horse to survive, but sure, you go ahead and tell me all about your gluten thingy.”
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Watching my jerk neighbor realize he left his car windows open overnight during a downpour was a nice treat this morning.
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Govt: We need you to stay 6 feet away from people. Me: Okay. Work: We need you to work from home. Me: Okay. Trash company: We need you to bag your recyclables. Me: UGGGHH
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I miss you so much it hurts. - sticky note I put on the windshield of my kids school bus
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Me: I’m bored. Mother Nature: Oooh how about some 50 mph winds today? Me: [spends 5 hours chasing my trash barrels around the neighborhood]
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Why use a coloring book when this ENTIRE house can be my canvas?! ~Toddlers
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
After all the chocolate I ate today, you’d be glad that social distancing is a thing.
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Me: Do you have any homework? Child: All school work is homework right now. Me: You are a prodigy.
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On the bright side I don’t have to yell at people to get out of my house on holidays.
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Getting curbside pickup from Texas Roadhouse just like on the very first Easter
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
her: what are you doing? me: dying eggs :) fertility doctor: YOU NEED TO LEAVE
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Today my 7yo realized that Easter is a religious holiday. Her reaction was: "What?? Don't tell me.. it's Jesus's half birthday...." No DNA test needed, she's mine.
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DOES ANYONE KNOW IF CHURCH DOES CURBSIDE PICKUP FOR THOSE WAFER THINGS?
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99.9% of watching the kids find Easter eggs is trying to remember where the hell you hid them in the first place.
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I'm sure 4 kids fighting about who found the most eggs at 7 am is exactly what Jesus planned for today.
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Wife: I think it’s time we told her that the Easter Bunny and Santa aren’t real. Me: Okay. [later] Me: Hey. Child: What? Me: Your mother wants to tell you something.
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Rodney Lacroix 转推了
Dance like you just stuck the arm of your sunglasses up your nose.
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