The millennial urge to post song lyrics on Twitter like this is my AIM profile
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Nick Wester, P.I.
@WeHaveSnacks
I did the best that I could. He/Him.
San Jose, CAJoined September 2014
Nick Wester, P.I.’s Tweets
I relly want 2 break Mr Spaceship’s twitter rules (I am a cool rebel); but I can not figure out what they are? is one of them “dont say that Mr Spaceships eats warm farts”
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The author just gave up on this one midway through. 🤣
I need to be clear—I am stoked to do this and grateful to the person who wrote this. You try making 500 couplets about old billboards and make them all bangers if you think you can do better!
Going to do a scavenger hunt tour of San José and surrounding cities soon. Please enjoy these extremely s t r e t c h rhymes.
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It was never about the jet tracker…
Jet tracked your ass into a Streisand Effect.
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This entire exercise is a surgical strike. Further proof of how powerful we are and how that completely throttles their ability to crime and manip. They didn’t want a fringe platform they wanted THIS platform. For a reason.
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"I'm mad at her so you can't be friends with her either." twitter.com/TwitterSupport
This Tweet is unavailable.
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Not going to lie I wasn’t watching the game but I thought Argentina won at 9:00am, then thought France won at 9:30am, now I learn Argentina won? That final certainly was…
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
…Messi.
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The audience did not like my mass shooting joke :(
But they didn’t hate it enough to do anything about gun control! :0
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Just in case anyone doesn't already know--it doesn't matter what Mastodon instance/server/whatever you join. Just think of it as a long .com at the end of your username. Also they don't ban journalists because their feelings are hurt.
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It occurs to me that I have never actually heard Elon talk. His voice sounds as stupid as he is. And if you've ever heard my voice you would know that I know what I'm talking about when I talk about stupid voices.
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Holy Shit. Elon Musk just popped into a Twitter Spaces chat with a bunch of journalists. He was called out by journalist Drew Harrell, who he banned, for lying about posting links to his private information, then leaves almost immediately after being pressed. Here is the exchange
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Tried to update my twitter bio with a functional link to m4st0don and the link is 'determined to be malware'.
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Hey, television: I am in favor of structural and narrative experimentation, but only if it offers something to the viewer. I can't remember who said the thing about how you could choose to run a marathon in clown shoes, but there's not necessarily any reason to.
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Honestly I’m surprised it took Dormald Tormp this long to discover the NFT grift.
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Lmaoooooooooooo
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If your timeline is all messed up by the algorithm, you can set it back to chronological order very easily. Just hit this button. It will revert with some app updates.
Apparently some folks don't know this? Would you also like to know how to get rid of "So and so liked this?"
Season 1 of South Side was great, but season 2 is BRILLIANT. I've never been as mad as when that dance group messed up Simon's steak carton.
I’m okay with the ATLAS SHRUGGED version of the DC Universe going away.
Just not sure I’m clamoring to replace it with a FAMILY GUY version of the DC Universe.
It’s 2022; why are these still our only options.
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It is said those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. But what of those who suppress the past, distort it, sanitize it? They are not so blameless. A true warrior knows that hiding from the past is cowardice, but deliberately hiding the past is a grave dishonor.
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Red Lobster on the East coast, Sizzler on the West coast. Probably Olive Garden in the Midwest. Don’t know enough about the South to guess. I’d say Waffle House, but that’s an anytime all-time restaurant.
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What was the “celebration restaurant” your family ate at when you were a child that you didn’t realize was not, in fact, a 5-star establishment until you became an adult?
Ours was CiCi’s Pizza.
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Sitting in front of a mound of Buffalo wings, I unfold the Wet Nap and solemnly place it over my head. "We do this to hide our shame from God's eyes", I whisper to no-one in particular.
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I can die happy now.
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at 16 all americans should be entered into a draft, not to join the armed forces, but to work retail or food service for one calendar year
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every day it's a new thing on here
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i dated a guy once who said when his ex gf peed, it sounded like fried chicken. so now, every time i pee, i think ...about what an asshole he was
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Reminds us of ICON KRISTINE LILLY 👑
⚽️ She has made 30 World Cup appearances
⚽️ She is the most-capped football player in the history soccer (men or women)
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With Lionel Messi starting today, he ties German icon Lothar Matthäus for the most World Cup appearances in a men's World Cup with 25. 
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I get it—a lot of things aren’t even available on physical media (so pirate it with a free conscience! 🏴☠️) but buy what you can. Recreate the market for physical media from scratch—maybe even rebuild physical media stores with the community that comes with them. Dare to dream.
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Please, please, please listen when I say buy physical media whenever you can. Streamers will pull these stunts and services like iTunes are only leasing the thing you “bought” to you.
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EXCLUSIVE: Two other original scripted series, #Westworld and ‘The Nevers,’ are coming off HBO Max deadline.com/2022/12/westwo
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VILLAINS
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'The removal of shows from HBO Max means WB Discovery is able to save money in residuals paid to cast and crews of productions, on top of the money saved by not continuing with the shows at all.” Literally how middle class actors survive. #bloodbath variety.com/2022/tv/news/w
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Why are the rosettes yellow now?
Don't rename the trophies. Rename the penalties.
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EEEE! Public transit presentation!
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I want it.
I need it.
I desire it.
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If you have $2500 laying around, someone on eBay is selling this vintage McDonald's Grimace costume. It's amazing, terrifying and objectively worth every penny. tinyurl.com/grimaceauction
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