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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
SRE
@Apple
 ✨ infrastructure & distributed systems ✨ she/her
San Francisco, CAJoined May 2009
219 Following
17.7K Followers

🖤devon🖤’s Tweets

🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Just in case you’re looking, my org at Apple is hiring SREs, engineering managers, infrastructure managers, a system’s reliability tech lead, a cloud SRE manager, build engineers and much more. These aren’t full time remote roles, but im happy to provide more info in dms
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
sorry i disappeared from twitter for a while, i was busy working really hard, sweating a lot, crying a little and getting promoted 🖤 i hope you had a great summer 🫶�
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Im spending next week at a retreat in the desert so I did my nails last weekend to go with the theme & coincidentally these 🔥 shoes arrived in the mail last night which also match
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
What if instead of turtles, it was just mediocre white men thinking they know more than they do all the way down
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
me: I can't believe these people are squatting on a whole /32 coworker: devon, thats a single ipv4 me: exactly. like what year is it.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
How do you say “no you’re wrong and what you’re spewing is totally lies� but like professionally?
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
for my former self*, let’s push all the junk to production that we’ve been sitting on the last week and see if we can cause some mayhem *my former punk rock teen self would call me a sell out, key my car and steal my shoes
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
I know a lot of people more willing to permanently share their location than send read receipts and honestly I agree.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Let’s go wwdc friends! Today is gonna be awesome! Also these nails took me almost five hours to do so please tell me they’re cute.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Im bored by the pool in Bahamas so I just asked my husband to mansplain kernel level cpu affinity to me
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
_texting my boss this morning_ Me: what are you wearing today? I wanna make sure we don’t wear the same thing Him: ??? Me: don’t say I didn’t warn you _shows up to work dressed like cotton candy_
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Im going to the Bahamas this week so I spent 4+ and 10+ coats of polish to create these beachy nails then matched my outfit today for an empty office & no one to notice.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Wearing this blood moon 🩸🌕 dress in honor of the blood moon I couldn’t see bc of clouds but
@rrdionne
was nice enough to send me this pic he captured
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
ive had the same slack reminder pop up for 7 straight months now and I'm pretty sure todays the day I'm gonna follow through. i'll just snooze for 3 hours and definitely get right on it.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
“The fortune 2 company� just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Do oil guys have SREs?
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
I can’t believe I curate ‘fits like this where my fishnets perfectly match the print of my dress just to sit in a practically empty office in meetings for 10 straight hours & pump my own gas
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
I got a chair in my office last night and I instantly turned insufferable. Im an office chair babe now. Im taking meetings from my leather club chair. Get used to me saying things like “I need the room� to kick you out.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Thinking about talking to HR about this guy who won’t stop calling and texting and emailing me despite my boundaries and rejection. His name is Pager Duty and I have no intention of answering.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
Some days I wear a three piece pant suit & some days I dress like this. It’s called ✨range✨
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
hear me out: exponential back off, but for people who make me sad
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
I dunno which of you hexed me but I wanna let you know it worked, I closed my finger in my car door. Luckily I have a job that doesn’t require me to use my finger all day to type or anything like that.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is try to convince a single friend of mine to take a ride in my mclaren and drink wine with me on Santana Row. Still failed fwiw.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
i was feeling like a really r!ch bos$ a$s sup3r b@be but then i tripped up the stairs and spilled coffee everywhere, so thank you universe for keeping me humble ��
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
thinking about screaming "computers were a mistake" from the courtyard and seeing who comes out of their offices and maybe wants to vibe with me.
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🖤devon🖤
@devonbl
infrastructure is rad bc every time i feel like i can hold my head above water & start making technical recommendations about something i just learned, some new stack comes along and is like "lol, no"
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